I am currently doing a two week block in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
I like the patients--lots of adolescents, they are neat kids, with more issues than the average kid, but neat kids nonetheless.
Its the parents that are responsible for them that I cannot tolerate.
Let me say that I know that there are a lot of wonderful parents in the world--two of them are mine, I know many others and I plan to meet even more of them. But there are some really BAD parents too, unfortunately.
I have seen so many kids that come from really messed up homes and they are just caught in the middle of adults who dont know how to be adults well.
I saw a kid today who has some issues with authority, some behavioral issues, some substance use issues, some anger management issues--he's got some things to work on. Granted. But he is living at home with his mom and step-dad, the step-dad who threatens to leave the mom if she doesnt choose him over her son. It make my insides crawl to think of men seeing women's children as their enemies, and it makes me shudder at the chaos that results when the Natural Law is broken. This kid's mom called the RCMP to bring him in to the ER on a warrant for a mental health assessment because he mentioned a few weeks ago that he would rather be dead. I have seen suicidal people. This kid was NOT suicidal. The catch to this story is that the mom and step-dad are leaving the country tomorrow on vacation, and they wanted the kid to be admitted to the psych ward while they were away. I was SO frusterated I was ready to lose it, but I didnt. What a total lack of parental coping skills, AND completely irresponsible use of services.
Its absolutely unbelievable how many parents call the police to deal with their kids that are 12, 13, 14 etc, when they are getting out of hand at home. I already cant believe how many times I have heard, "I had to call the police", and then they tell you about the incident, and I am sitting there thinking, 'you need to quit being afraid of your kid, and start showing them some tough love---your kids dont need you to be a buddy, they need boundaries'.
Give me kidney failure to manage any day.
5 comments:
There are a lot of variables when you are dealing with people, kids, families, blended families, and not blended families. We need to remember that the behavior that we choose to use is the best that we are able to do at that time. Parents included... It isn't as easy as it seems.... What needs to happen is that people need to learn new strategies for handling situations. Those might come from other help agencies etc. Again, it gets really difficult to find the right people to help people.
Although I know the frustration you are describing. It is hard to keep an open mind, but we teachers often say, it would be easy to be a brain surgeon, because the patient is not talking back, or on the move.....
A great author is Dr. Robert Brooks, he has a clinic where he works with children and parents. has written books such as Raising Resilient Children. Talks about rewriting negative scripts. Sometimes, we get into negative patterns and keep perpetrating the same old situations. It isn't easy to change. We need someone to help us find another way...
Keep on smiling.
Wow, child and adolescent psychiatry sounds like an interesting rotation! Something I would like to do!!
I cannot believe the way children are treated and allowed to act these days...alot of times I think the kids are acting out becasue they can't handle their world (family) falling apart! Kids aren't supposed to have to deal with the things that go on in their homes or the words that are said to them...It makes me nervous to think of the world 30 years from now with so many hardened angry adults walking around whom are really still kids inside. Anyway, on another note, Dr Lauren, Ethan just so happens to have Strep and they think he has Scarlet Fever...today we are pretnding we live in the 1920's. Why? Because: WHO the HECK gets SCARLET fever these days??? Honestly, who??!!
I agree with you totally Lauren; some parents are just insane! All of the rotten kids I've ever known are ones whose parents can't be reached because they are working or out all the time... You're awesome, Lauren!
And why am I thinking peds? Remind me...um...maybe i'll ask someone else.
I've known since I started on Peds near 2 years ago that I will encounter many 'ruined' kids - who have been not been enough love, taught no respect, and upon whom the concept of selflessness has never ever dawned.
My frustration yesterday was the beautiful missy (4y) who was a darling as she slept - truly a gift. We even had a fantastic morning. However, time came to remove the IV (usually a time of rejoicing!) NOT SO MUCH FUN. As the removal of the tape (which wasn't applied excessively - as it sometimes is, I admit) She screamed and screamed at the top of her lungs - oh i wish i was joking. I couldn't finish. I went to get wet cloths, adhesive remover, alcohol swabs, you name it - I was armed. NO GOOD. I spent too long trying to make it painless. All the while she was rude to her parents, mad at me, you name it. BAH. Truly a sweet girl and I know she has potential - fortunately I believe her parents will be trying to raise her for God.
Meh. Ya shake your shoulders out (after many screams have tightened just a couple nerves), pray for the girl and her family, and on to the next tyke - after giving her a hug goodbye as the happily skipping cutie takes off for home.
Honestly hon, it is so amazing to just love 'em sometimes, especially the love&hugs deprived (my personal favorite "affection outlet"!). You really count on the good times to make it through the tougher ones (including days like last Sunday!).C
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