Celebrating

So the group of us Saskatchewan girls threw a bridal shower for the lovely BC born Erin, just before she flies home to marry our very own Saskatchewan boy Tim E this summer. To our good fortune they will be making Saskatchewan their home after this summer!





We played a game where all the guests brought some of their own sleepware, and Erin had to figure out who sleeps in what. She was quite perplexed to as she tried to guess who sleeps in a tiny pink fuzzy thing!












As is custom, we 'showered' the bride with gifts...





And as is also custom, some of the gifts made her the 'blushing bride'!









And these are the gorgeous Gerbers and lilies that Eddie gave me to celebrate my arrival to Saskatoon, and getting to spend four weeks together in toon town. They filled Tin's appartment with their heavenly fragrance for over a week.

How do you eat an elephant?

One bite at a time.

Last week was somewhat overwhelming for me in many respects. However, as always, in the place of feeling pressed on all sides, God revealed Himself yet again, and the Holy Spirit shed some light on a few things for me:

1) I am not nearing the end of the woods in terms of knowledge of medicine. This past week I think I only started to realize how deep the forest really is, and how far I have yet to go. But its just like every other time that I have encountered a new learning curve--it is intimidating at first, and seems insurmountable, but as I set back, and decide to go one day at a time, I eventually learn to function at that next level; although it takes a lot of steep uphill climbing to get there. The last time I can recall this sort of scenario was the year I started medical school. I really shouldnt be surprised that it would get harder again! But He will see me through. It is a humbling thing to be reminded that on my OWN, I CANT do it. Through HIM I can. This is a seemingly subtle, but oh so key distinction.

2) Christ is my Savior--not any of the things He blesses me with. Those are His to give and take away. I am not saved or 'held together' by the ways He blesses me. Those are Graces He has afforded me. Its the old addage "God is more concerned with your character than with your comfort". I have been frequently uncomfortable these past few months. God is stretching me. It is unpleasant a lot of the time, sometimes down right painful. But there is also a lot of joy He has brought me too.

3) Do I trust Him? He has been faithful in all things, working out the details of my life with exacting precision, in ways beyond anything I could ask or imagine. He has brought me this far, He will not leave me here. He will see me through. I will reach the other side.

Funny, none of these things are truly 'new' realizations, but like all important lessons in life, they are often repeated.

A day in the Life

Wow. Saskatoon JURSI is a different flavor than Regina.

First of all, the attending I am with this week knows EVERYTHING about everything. Seriously. She is an Infectious Disease specialist, ran hospitals in Africa for years, knows everything about almost all specialities. She's brilliant. So naturally, my own lack of knowledge becomes painfully obvious when viewed in that light.

Second, we actually do real rounds here--I see my patients on my own in the morning, then in the afternoon the team rounds -- the attending, two residents, two JURSIs, a pharmacist and a pharmacy student. And thus on rounds the grilling of JURSIs happens. Quizzed and questioned, having to say all to often, "I dont know". This is a STRONG motivator to go home and study.

Third--its exhausting tromping around feeling as though you are incompetent ALL day. I think its that chronic feeling of "man I dont know ANYTHING, I have GOT to study more" that is really exhausting. Its not the physical walking around all day. Its mental exhaustion.

Fourth I realize I am going to be exhausted everyday for the next five to six years.

But even with all that--its still fun. Go figure.

He Is Risen

He Is Risen Indeed.

Today is the day that Christians celebrate the Resurrection--the empty tomb. Our Jesus not only died on the Cross, but three days later He Rose again. Praise be to God!

It amazes me, but doesnt really surprise me, that the rest of our society thinks that this holiday is only about eggs and bunnies. Its sad really, how the real meaning of this celebration has been lost in a heap of chocolate. Why do we endorse the comercialization of our sacred Holy Days?

But that said, there is a remnant of the faithful--to whom today is a profoundly joyous day. The day that changed all of human history forever, is celebrated around the world by those who acknowledge Him as Lord and Saviour.

Happy Easter!

Welcome Back

I arrived in Saskatoon on Thursday, and my soul feels so much more at ease. Back into the place where I am surrounded with the familiar, and with the people whom I love to spend my time with. Already phone calls with Heather, Camille, Erin making plans to visit--delightful. Oh, Regina is an adventure alright--but so is JURSI by itself. It will be very nice to have four weeks in a familar place before I take off all over for electives. And nice to be in the same city as Eddie--even if his parents have a cat!

Grim Reaper

"Medicine is by definition a moral activity" ~ John Patrick

I had my first death of a patient this week. I wasnt actually in the room when he died, but all the same, the experience has affected me. These are the things they do not teach you in medical school--what to do when you are there as a family is being told their loved one is now terminally ill, with days or even only hours to live. Watching a wife and 12 year old son as they cry, overcome with grief, at losing their husband and father. How to discuss the "CT films with good teaching points"---while the family is meters away in another room, and the patient lies at death's door a few meters in the other direction. Seeing streams of relatives, brothers, sisters, tiny young nephews come in to say their final goodbyes. What to do as your insides become liquid, your heart pounds in your ears, your eyes sting with tears, and you feel like you cant breathe.

How to remain "professional" and still be human?

Even with our best medicines, we cant save everybody--it is one thing to cognitively know this, another to experience it. As I read about the condition that was the cause of death for my patient today, the 25% mortality rate was more than just a number. 1 in 4. And the worst part is, for this patient--it was devastating misfortune. He had absolutely no risk factors for the disease that was his demise, the doctors still dont know why he got it--and he went from normal and healthy, to a few minor symptoms in a month, then minor symptoms to dead in less than a week.

I can see how without Jesus many doctors loose their hope.

Digital Camera back in full force

So my digital camera that I thought became a very expensive rattle last semester is now working again (miraculously I do believe), and Eddie had graciously given me a cable to hook up to my IBook (I had thrown out the cable in the move because I thought I didnt need it anymore!). So anyhoo, my blog will be much more picturesque again. Yay!

So here are some pictures from JURSI night out in Regina, sponsored by the RQHR. Definitely the being thrown into hostile living conditions has caused the group of us to bond, cling to one another if you will, especially since most of us dont know other people here, nor do we have the time to cultivate extra-medical relationships. So the tighter knit we become...















Mark-o finally lets me get a photo with him..












Ray, charming as always...












The lovely Janelle is home from electives finally!










And free food always tastes better than what the poor student budget can buy... and yes that is Myles, trying to pose as a Regina JURSI while here on elective.







And even Schweitz made it out! Can you believe it!


And while I am photo documenting, Eddie came to PA with me this weekend to visit the fam.







Bald is irresistable!








And, one more funny story to close out the post... we got to Saskatoon for me to drop Eddie off (he is doing Peds there for six weeks, and I am still in Regina for four more days, I digress). Anyways, his mom came out to visit with us when we got there. First thing she says to me,
"I am SO HAPPY you guys are dating!!! I told Eddie, 'good choice'!" No joking! She was literally gushing over the fact that I was dating her son. I was a little embarassed, but I guess I dont have to wonder whether or not she approves of me!

Photo Update

A brief sampling of some of the highlights of the last month or so....work hard play hard!

Our brief day trip to BC took us to the lovely Radium Hot Springs...




















On the hill at Lake Louise




















On the Lake behind Chateau Lake Louise...









Brittney and I lounge for a night at the Temple Gardens Spa in Moose Jaw to celebrate her 19th Birthday...the celebration is a few months belated.







JURSIs get a night off to go out for grub! Look mom, no scrubs!








Being silly....










My lovely orchids...

23 y/o female; Day 2 in ICU

Today was great. I was incharge of two patients in the ICU, followed up their progress, and then presented them to the Intensivist at rounds. One patient with COPD, and one patient with--wait for it--methanol poisoning with concurrent ethanol intoxication requiring dialysis! I was calculating Anion Gaps, Osmolar Gaps, looking up methanol toxicity levels....so great! Honestly, its like doing puzzles all day.

I didnt mind psych, it was even fun at times, but I think its an adaptive mechanism, to start to enjoy what you are doing if you have to do it for a long time--that is of course if you dont absolutely despise it. And its easier to convince yourself that you enjoy something, when its been a long time since you have been able to do the thing your really enjoy best; then you forget how good something actually is. Like a cup of coffee on Easter Sunday after having given up coffee for Lent. And likely Psych seemed quite good because it was following Obs and Gyne!

Romance in Medicine

Today Eddie left for Saskatoon--he is doing his six weeks of pediatrics there, then we both take off for electives, rural family med, CTU in Saskatoon etc. So with our two JURSI schedules, between now and Christmas time (45 weeks) we will be spending all of eleven weeks in the same city. Somewhere between the combined itinerary of Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, Prince Albert, Moose Jaw, Ottawa, Halifax, and St. Johns (NFLD), we will see each other for those few 11 weeks! And lets not forget that we have two 1 in 4 call schedules to deal with, so even when we are in the same city its remarkable when either of us is not on call or post call, that is where we both have the night off and actually slept the night before!

This weekend was a 'free' weekend--I have finished one rotation, and have not started the next one, thus no pressure to be studying etc, just two glorious days where I could NOT feel behind. There were moments today, when we were just hanging out, the quiet moments of sharing a meal together, going to church together, or even just watching a movie together ---in these moments, the thought of just quitting school and being a normal person who worked a normal 8-5 job, who sees the people they care about on a daily basis---these thoughts crossed my mind. I wonder--is the sacrifice of travelling all over the country, being on call 1 in 4, sleeping little and working lots, spending months at a time away from my family, friends and now my boyfriend, is this sacrifice worth it?

I think it is. There is a cost, a price to pay, and it wont be easy; it isnt easy. But I think about the alternative, and I know that while the alternative to medicine would be gratifying for a while, but quickly thereafter I would get bored. Medicine is where I belong, it is what God has placed on my heart as where I am to focus many of my gifts, hence it is where I am fulfilled. Medicine and life are not an easy combination. Medicine and romance are even more difficult. Medicine x 2 and romance--challenging. But honestly, in the end I know it will be worth the effort. At the end of this crazy year and a half both Eddie and I will be trained in careers we both really enjoy and love, and eventually (after residency), we will regain some autonomy for our own schedules, and we will be able to enjoy both our professional and our personal lives.

Besides, its through God's use of medicine that I got to go to Africa right? Who knows how many more opportunities will come my way through this avenue of the medical profession?