Today Eddie left for Saskatoon--he is doing his six weeks of pediatrics there, then we both take off for electives, rural family med, CTU in Saskatoon etc. So with our two JURSI schedules, between now and Christmas time (45 weeks) we will be spending all of eleven weeks in the same city. Somewhere between the combined itinerary of Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Saskatoon, Prince Albert, Moose Jaw, Ottawa, Halifax, and St. Johns (NFLD), we will see each other for those few 11 weeks! And lets not forget that we have two 1 in 4 call schedules to deal with, so even when we are in the same city its remarkable when either of us is not on call or post call, that is where we both have the night off and actually slept the night before!
This weekend was a 'free' weekend--I have finished one rotation, and have not started the next one, thus no pressure to be studying etc, just two glorious days where I could NOT feel behind. There were moments today, when we were just hanging out, the quiet moments of sharing a meal together, going to church together, or even just watching a movie together ---in these moments, the thought of just quitting school and being a normal person who worked a normal 8-5 job, who sees the people they care about on a daily basis---these thoughts crossed my mind. I wonder--is the sacrifice of travelling all over the country, being on call 1 in 4, sleeping little and working lots, spending months at a time away from my family, friends and now my boyfriend, is this sacrifice worth it?
I think it is. There is a cost, a price to pay, and it wont be easy; it isnt easy. But I think about the alternative, and I know that while the alternative to medicine would be gratifying for a while, but quickly thereafter I would get bored. Medicine is where I belong, it is what God has placed on my heart as where I am to focus many of my gifts, hence it is where I am fulfilled. Medicine and life are not an easy combination. Medicine and romance are even more difficult. Medicine x 2 and romance--challenging. But honestly, in the end I know it will be worth the effort. At the end of this crazy year and a half both Eddie and I will be trained in careers we both really enjoy and love, and eventually (after residency), we will regain some autonomy for our own schedules, and we will be able to enjoy both our professional and our personal lives.
Besides, its through God's use of medicine that I got to go to Africa right? Who knows how many more opportunities will come my way through this avenue of the medical profession?
3 comments:
Thank you for that post Lauren. I've been in a place where I've been contemplating doing something other than I'm doing, staying in one place or even getting a regular 8-5 job instead. You're words really just reminded me that I'm doing what is in my heart to do and what I felt God calling me to do. If I were to stop the longings I have would be fulfilled for a time, but eventually I would become bored. What I'm doing is part of who I am and sometimes when the job becomes all encompassing you begin to forget who you really are.
I'm looking forward to some time and space away for 2 months to gain some perspective.
Thanks again :)
Your welcome Jenny,
I am glad that you were encouraged, and thank you for sharing, as it reminds me that I am not alone in this pursuit of Godly chaos.
I remember going for a walk with you and Berkley when you were thinking about going to England, many moons ago now, and it is awesome to see where God has brought you to!
Keep living the dream!
You certainly have a challenge to keep both areas of your life on an even keel. Balance is difficult. Praise God that with his help all things are possible.
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