A patient of mine died last week.
Our team was consulted to see him in the ER, and we went, assessed the situation, developed a plan, and admitted him. He was quite sick and was in significant respiratory distress. After we finished with him, we were sent home by our attending at the end of the day. I felt uneasy about him, knowing in my gut he was in rough shape. Apparently our patient's heart went into complete heart block 15 minutes after we left. Cardiology came over from the U, but it proved to be the end of his time here on earth.
I was stunned the next morning to hear of his passing, and sort of numb to be honest. Its strange to have people go so suddenly--now they are here, now they're not.
I talked about it with Eddie that night. There is such a fine line between promoting life and prolonging death. Its not our job to save everyone, but it is our job to treat everyonewith dignity and compassion.
Then on Sunday during the intercessory prayers, my patient's name was read as one of those recently departed members of the Body. It hit me again like a ton of brick in my gut and instantly hot tears overflowed, stinging my eyes; my two worlds colliding. Sometimes its easy to forget that patients are in our community, our fellowship, our neighbourhood. I dont think I will ever learn the 'professional detachment'--I dont think I want to.
3 comments:
Wow - a good reminder of how short and fragile life is! Our lives really are in God's hands.
Lauren, you will make a great doctor not merely because of your passion for what you have learned and are eager to continue to learn....but because of your passion for people. You see them as people, with souls and spirits, not just objects or projects.
God loves and acknowledges your heart Lauren and that is why He has called you to be a doctor.
I love you and I miss you dearly.
It is indeed a fine line between our lives here on earth and moving on to the next. Lauren, your ability to connect with people, empathizing with them, and caring deeply about them will always be a part of you. God created you with these special talents and has guided you along this path. He will continue to be with you each day giving you strength. Seek His presence, He understands. The patients that you see now and those that will be in your care in the future are fortunate indeed to have such a caring physician involved with them.
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