I went to the market today for about two hours with Emily, the other girl who is staying at the College. And then I spent the rest of the day by myself. I went back downtown, and wandered around the airconditioned Rideau Center to escape from the stiffling Ontario humidity. It is amazing how I can feel totally alone while surrounded by bustling, jostling masses of people. People all around, noisy, loud, with no one really talking. Bumping into other people, but no one really connecting.
Even amidst the swarms of crowds, my own thoughts echo loudly in my head. I am alone with the voice in my head. It is a strange thing to be alone by circumstance, rather than by choice. At home being alone is a choice--I can at any moment pick up a phone and initiate a social interaction with people I know well. Here I am alone by default. I dont think I could be busy, even if I tried. Its like an imosed social hiatus. My phone rings once a day--when Eddie calls me for our daily conversation. And somedays my mom phones too. Those are the two voices that link me to the on-going world.
Two more weeks.
2 comments:
Reminds me of when I moved from the triving community of Steep Creek to the big city of P.A. Felt totally alone in that sprawling metropolis... Took some time but soon friends popped up in many places. The problem with these short adventures that your class is excuting these 18 months is that they are just that... short. No time for longer commitments.
Missed you at supper yesterday at Auntie Chris's house.
Hi Lauren,
I've been thinking about you lots. I lived in Ottawa and loved it, such a beautiful city. Where else is on your tour? There are some lessons in life that can only be learned in solitude. Take advantage of this time to learn and hear the voice of God. There will come a time when the bustle of life is overwhelming, and you may long for these days of solitude. Keep me updated.
Alison
Post a Comment