It is really by God's Grace and Wisdom that we only are allowed to travel through time in one direction: forward. I often wonder if I knew years ago what I know now if I would make the same decisions. Would I be too scared? Would I have the courage? Naivete is a hidden blessing more often then I think we will ever know. But if I changed my past then I would not be me, as I am so shaped by my decisions and experiences.
I got a phone call tonight from a kid whose parent works with my mom. She has an interview with the College of Medicine in the next few weeks. She sounded so young, so fresh, so excited about the prospect of getting to become a doctor. I remember those days, I remember being that almost child-like enthusiasm for medicine, before years of the forces greater than me grinding away at me, shaping and forming the physician-to-be. They carve away at who you are, chipping out what is unsuitable, making you more and more like them, re-shaping the way you think, the patterns that keep, the way you live, where you live, how you spend your time....and you pray that somewhere along the way you have not lost the essence of who you are. I pray that I have retained the inherent elements that make me who I am.
How do you explain that to the bright eyed hopeful wishing to be physicians? You cant. There is no way to describe to someone who doesnt live through medicine what it does to you, to your life. I dont actually know if I would have chosen it, I thank God He chose me for it. I think I would have been too fearful. I do not regret it, but I wouldn't do it over again--Once in a lifetime is enough. It is a life that has required me to sacrifice more than ever understood before. It has required me to become much more disciplined. Yet, through it God has brought me more joy than I thought possible. And that my friends is the Grace of God.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
Best Joke of the Day
While our team was trying to find out how much longer it would be before a patient returned from the OR to the ICU, the anaesthetist poked his head out and said, "Oh a long time. An hour of surgical time, so multiply that by pi..."
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Back in Regina; again
I am back in Regina, again. I think this is the last stint of time here, or rather there is no other big stretch of time where I will be living out of a suitcase. Until my honeymoon that is :)
I don't really have a lot to blog about--I am in the Surgical Intensive Care for this week and next week, which is a cool way for me to hang out with internists during my surgery rotations :) I have been fortunate to have an R4 in internal med in the unit with me this week so I have been peppering him with questions. Other than that I am trying to get ready for my surgery exams that are in a week and a half, and for my surgery presentation that is next Friday. Terribly exciting, I know.
Although what is kind of cool (I know, blogging about medicine is terribly nerdy, bear with me), is I watched the intensivist (the ICU doc) resuscitate a woman who was exsanguinating (had blood pouring out of her). She was completely calm throughout the entire thing, as though it was just a regular day at the office. It was awesome to see how she had her head about her in the midst of a situation that would make A LOT of people high strung to say the least. And the coolest thing was the next morning I went in to examine the patient, and asked her how she was, and she opened her eyes, smiled, and said "I'm a little tired today". I thought that was awesome coming from a woman who tried her best to die the day before.
39 days until I am finished JURSI rotations! I can't wait!
I don't really have a lot to blog about--I am in the Surgical Intensive Care for this week and next week, which is a cool way for me to hang out with internists during my surgery rotations :) I have been fortunate to have an R4 in internal med in the unit with me this week so I have been peppering him with questions. Other than that I am trying to get ready for my surgery exams that are in a week and a half, and for my surgery presentation that is next Friday. Terribly exciting, I know.
Although what is kind of cool (I know, blogging about medicine is terribly nerdy, bear with me), is I watched the intensivist (the ICU doc) resuscitate a woman who was exsanguinating (had blood pouring out of her). She was completely calm throughout the entire thing, as though it was just a regular day at the office. It was awesome to see how she had her head about her in the midst of a situation that would make A LOT of people high strung to say the least. And the coolest thing was the next morning I went in to examine the patient, and asked her how she was, and she opened her eyes, smiled, and said "I'm a little tired today". I thought that was awesome coming from a woman who tried her best to die the day before.
39 days until I am finished JURSI rotations! I can't wait!
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Done Interviews :)
I have finished Carms Interviews!! YA!
And Eddie and I have submitted our list of what order we would accept residency positions for next year, so all we have to do now is wait and March 14th we will find out where we are going for the next three years.
Oh and I guess in case you were wondering, I should mention about my U of S interview and how that went. I think it went really well :) The program director started the interview with "you're wonderful, everybody loves you, so tell me about yourself..." and it went on from there. He seemed super understanding of the whole couples matching business, and really pro-resident and pro-resident education, which is always great. It was a really good chat with him, had a really good vibe when I left there. Then my second interview was with one of the faculty who wrote me my reference letter, and the chief resident that I had spent a fair amount of time with over at St. Paul's hospital because she too is interested in nephrology. So yes overall it went well.
Eddie and I celebrated being finished interviews with a date last night. He took me to John's Prime Rib and we had a wonderfully luxurious and languid dinner. It was the perfect way to cap off such a chaotic and hectic period of time! I am so blessed to be marrying such an amazing man.
So now my attention turns to other things--namely gearing up for our licensing exam and the wedding both of which are fast approaching! Never a dull moment in JURSI-land....
And Eddie and I have submitted our list of what order we would accept residency positions for next year, so all we have to do now is wait and March 14th we will find out where we are going for the next three years.
Oh and I guess in case you were wondering, I should mention about my U of S interview and how that went. I think it went really well :) The program director started the interview with "you're wonderful, everybody loves you, so tell me about yourself..." and it went on from there. He seemed super understanding of the whole couples matching business, and really pro-resident and pro-resident education, which is always great. It was a really good chat with him, had a really good vibe when I left there. Then my second interview was with one of the faculty who wrote me my reference letter, and the chief resident that I had spent a fair amount of time with over at St. Paul's hospital because she too is interested in nephrology. So yes overall it went well.
Eddie and I celebrated being finished interviews with a date last night. He took me to John's Prime Rib and we had a wonderfully luxurious and languid dinner. It was the perfect way to cap off such a chaotic and hectic period of time! I am so blessed to be marrying such an amazing man.
So now my attention turns to other things--namely gearing up for our licensing exam and the wedding both of which are fast approaching! Never a dull moment in JURSI-land....
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Montreal and The Rock
I am only posting this now, because I had would have had to pay for internet at my last two stops. So I am back now, and posting now about Montreal and Newfoundland....
Montreal. What can I say about Montreal? It’s a really cool place to visit, I don’t really want to live there. It’s a fun city, but I think it would have the potential to encourage all the wrong things in me---becoming vain and way too into fashion. The shopping in Montreal is unlike anything I have ever seen before. Granted I havent been to Paris or New York, but this place is unreal. Janelle and I found Ogilvy, this 7 storey department store that had boutiques and shops inside from designers like Louis Vutton, and other people whose names I cant pronounce. I have never seen $700.00 shoes in person before. And lingerie that is made of 100% silk, and starts at $200.00 an item, and red carpet dresses that start at 900.00…..Sigh. It is art that can be admired but never to be had.
Yes that’s right, I went shopping in Montreal on St. Catherine’s and didn’t but A THING! I didn’t even try ON a single pair of shoes.
I can say that getting prepared for being married has made me more responsible with my money for sure. Not that I was irresponsible before, but now its as though Eddie and I are a built in form of accountability to each other as to how we spend our money.
So back to the reason I was actually in Montreal. My interview. It went well I thought—they asked me tons of follow up questions from my response “to tell us about yourself….” And then a few questions about a challenging patient encounter, and a rewarding patient encounter, why you want to come to Montreal, how being an internist would be relevant if I ever went back to Africa…etc. Afterward there was tours of the different hospitals and a lunch with the candidates and the residents. I don’t have any CLUE how I got the interview—I was the only one I met from west of Ontario there who was interviewing. I had lunch with eight U of T students and one Ottawa U student. The lone prairie girl interviewing with the “big city” kids. Totally bizarre. And apparently all the other candidates were given a clinical case scenario and asked how they would manage it, but I wasn’t asked that! I cant tell if that’s a good sign or a bad one—I think it must be good.
And now “the rock” aka Newfoundland. I went going from one of the biggest cities in the country to one of the smallest.
Newfoundlanders were super nice--the cabbie who picked me up from the airport called me "duckie" and talked my ear off the whole way to the airport, asked me about how my parents were, etc.
The interview itself was super laid back--they started with, "this is a really informal interview, so you can relax...." The residents there were supper friendly, but I got the sense that they work ridiculous hours there, and they become "senior" residents after six months, while they are still in first year. If we wind up there we will be okay, and we will be able to make right it work, but for us I dont think it would make sense to go there preferentially above staying home....I would rarely see Eddie because I would be working all the time! They do three weekends a month there.
Getting home was a big gong show--my 5:00am flight off the Rock was cancelled, and it went from there. I did manage to get home to Saskatoon by a decent hour in the afternoon. I have decided that flying is a necessary evil to traveling, but that's about it. I really dont like flying!
Montreal. What can I say about Montreal? It’s a really cool place to visit, I don’t really want to live there. It’s a fun city, but I think it would have the potential to encourage all the wrong things in me---becoming vain and way too into fashion. The shopping in Montreal is unlike anything I have ever seen before. Granted I havent been to Paris or New York, but this place is unreal. Janelle and I found Ogilvy, this 7 storey department store that had boutiques and shops inside from designers like Louis Vutton, and other people whose names I cant pronounce. I have never seen $700.00 shoes in person before. And lingerie that is made of 100% silk, and starts at $200.00 an item, and red carpet dresses that start at 900.00…..Sigh. It is art that can be admired but never to be had.
Yes that’s right, I went shopping in Montreal on St. Catherine’s and didn’t but A THING! I didn’t even try ON a single pair of shoes.
I can say that getting prepared for being married has made me more responsible with my money for sure. Not that I was irresponsible before, but now its as though Eddie and I are a built in form of accountability to each other as to how we spend our money.
So back to the reason I was actually in Montreal. My interview. It went well I thought—they asked me tons of follow up questions from my response “to tell us about yourself….” And then a few questions about a challenging patient encounter, and a rewarding patient encounter, why you want to come to Montreal, how being an internist would be relevant if I ever went back to Africa…etc. Afterward there was tours of the different hospitals and a lunch with the candidates and the residents. I don’t have any CLUE how I got the interview—I was the only one I met from west of Ontario there who was interviewing. I had lunch with eight U of T students and one Ottawa U student. The lone prairie girl interviewing with the “big city” kids. Totally bizarre. And apparently all the other candidates were given a clinical case scenario and asked how they would manage it, but I wasn’t asked that! I cant tell if that’s a good sign or a bad one—I think it must be good.
And now “the rock” aka Newfoundland. I went going from one of the biggest cities in the country to one of the smallest.
Newfoundlanders were super nice--the cabbie who picked me up from the airport called me "duckie" and talked my ear off the whole way to the airport, asked me about how my parents were, etc.
The interview itself was super laid back--they started with, "this is a really informal interview, so you can relax...." The residents there were supper friendly, but I got the sense that they work ridiculous hours there, and they become "senior" residents after six months, while they are still in first year. If we wind up there we will be okay, and we will be able to make right it work, but for us I dont think it would make sense to go there preferentially above staying home....I would rarely see Eddie because I would be working all the time! They do three weekends a month there.
Getting home was a big gong show--my 5:00am flight off the Rock was cancelled, and it went from there. I did manage to get home to Saskatoon by a decent hour in the afternoon. I have decided that flying is a necessary evil to traveling, but that's about it. I really dont like flying!
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
One down, three to go...
I survived my first interview---whew!
I tried to get a good night's sleep last night. It didnt help the situation when there was a party going on in the room next door into the wee hours of the night last night. At first I wasnt sure, but it didnt take long to realize it was other med students who had obviously didnt have an interview this morning. I tried to wait it out and hope they would go to sleep, but finally when 2:30am rolled around, I decided "this is RIDICULOUS!"
I threw on a fleece, and went and knocked on their door....silence....then a sheepish looking medstudent came to the door. I said in my most sincere voice, "I really hate to break up the party, but I have an interview in the morning..." And instantly the guy looked mortified, and he replied, "I am SO sorry, no really I am so so sorry". I mumbled some sort of response and then crawled back into my room into bed. Thank the Lord they were quiet after that. At that point I didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. Also thank the Lord that I can function reasonably well on little sleep.
I was full of the jitters in the morning, but got myself fed and watered, bathed and groomed, pressed and dressed and to the interview, with time to spare. And interestingly enough, one of the other candidates waiting to interview in the morning turned out to be a fellow CMDS-er from Alberta. That was nice.
The interviews themselves (one with the program director, one with the Chief Resident, and one with a faculty) all went reasonably well. There weren't any questions that I hadnt at least thought about before, and for the most part they seemed quite conversational, and they spent a large portion of the time answering my questions. This was all followed by lunch with a slide show by the residents about why we should come to Dalhousie, and a tour of the hospital. Interestingly enough I was the only female candidate not in a black suit, which made me feel good. I didnt want to feel like a stiff, and I felt like myself in my suit. A more refined, sophisticated version of myself, but myself.
So tonight I am off to the resident social for the candidates at the Good Time Pub. Hopefully it will live up to its name.
Tomorrow, off to Montreal....
I tried to get a good night's sleep last night. It didnt help the situation when there was a party going on in the room next door into the wee hours of the night last night. At first I wasnt sure, but it didnt take long to realize it was other med students who had obviously didnt have an interview this morning. I tried to wait it out and hope they would go to sleep, but finally when 2:30am rolled around, I decided "this is RIDICULOUS!"
I threw on a fleece, and went and knocked on their door....silence....then a sheepish looking medstudent came to the door. I said in my most sincere voice, "I really hate to break up the party, but I have an interview in the morning..." And instantly the guy looked mortified, and he replied, "I am SO sorry, no really I am so so sorry". I mumbled some sort of response and then crawled back into my room into bed. Thank the Lord they were quiet after that. At that point I didn't know whether to cry or to laugh. Also thank the Lord that I can function reasonably well on little sleep.
I was full of the jitters in the morning, but got myself fed and watered, bathed and groomed, pressed and dressed and to the interview, with time to spare. And interestingly enough, one of the other candidates waiting to interview in the morning turned out to be a fellow CMDS-er from Alberta. That was nice.
The interviews themselves (one with the program director, one with the Chief Resident, and one with a faculty) all went reasonably well. There weren't any questions that I hadnt at least thought about before, and for the most part they seemed quite conversational, and they spent a large portion of the time answering my questions. This was all followed by lunch with a slide show by the residents about why we should come to Dalhousie, and a tour of the hospital. Interestingly enough I was the only female candidate not in a black suit, which made me feel good. I didnt want to feel like a stiff, and I felt like myself in my suit. A more refined, sophisticated version of myself, but myself.
So tonight I am off to the resident social for the candidates at the Good Time Pub. Hopefully it will live up to its name.
Tomorrow, off to Montreal....
Monday, February 05, 2007
Halifax, Eve of Interview 1
I flew to Halifax today. Seven hours and two airports later, here I am. The eve before my first interview.
Its a very different feeling, traveling for these interviews. There were six other med students on the shuttle bus from the airport. All of them looked like they stepped off the cover of Vogue (they were from Ontario and Alberta, need I say more?) and they all seemed tense, like a white head pimple, ready to burst.
I must say that not checking bags and being able to print my boarding pass at home the day before greatly lessened the travel anxiety. All I had to do was go through security and board my plane. It helped that I was able to fly WestJet to Halifax.
Halifax is definitely different in the winter than it is in my lush summer memories. Still a unique city with charm, and once we got into the downtown, it felt familiar, putting me at ease. Odd though, for me to be staying in hotels by myself. I don't know if I have ever had a hotel room to myself before. Its quiet, which is good, I will sleep tonight. Yet its almost eerie.
So tonight I am steaming my suit in the bathroom--not being able to hang it up took its toll on it, but I think it will come out fine. Its 'steaming' as I type. And I will review my practice questions, review the Dal program, and my application. Talk to Eddie. Talk to God. Read my Bible. Pray that I speak with confidence and clarity, and that the Holy Spirit will guide me. Ask for the peace that passes all understanding.
Thanks for all the responses to the practice questions--they all made me laugh or smile. One week and this will all be over!
Its a very different feeling, traveling for these interviews. There were six other med students on the shuttle bus from the airport. All of them looked like they stepped off the cover of Vogue (they were from Ontario and Alberta, need I say more?) and they all seemed tense, like a white head pimple, ready to burst.
I must say that not checking bags and being able to print my boarding pass at home the day before greatly lessened the travel anxiety. All I had to do was go through security and board my plane. It helped that I was able to fly WestJet to Halifax.
Halifax is definitely different in the winter than it is in my lush summer memories. Still a unique city with charm, and once we got into the downtown, it felt familiar, putting me at ease. Odd though, for me to be staying in hotels by myself. I don't know if I have ever had a hotel room to myself before. Its quiet, which is good, I will sleep tonight. Yet its almost eerie.
So tonight I am steaming my suit in the bathroom--not being able to hang it up took its toll on it, but I think it will come out fine. Its 'steaming' as I type. And I will review my practice questions, review the Dal program, and my application. Talk to Eddie. Talk to God. Read my Bible. Pray that I speak with confidence and clarity, and that the Holy Spirit will guide me. Ask for the peace that passes all understanding.
Thanks for all the responses to the practice questions--they all made me laugh or smile. One week and this will all be over!
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